Les Biches - JLT - 對話摘錄

 Jean-Louis Trintignant 熱潮繼續，今天下午重溫查布洛（Claude Chabrol）的 Les Biches 。呀哈，記得從前經朋友介紹在 youtube 上看完全片，看來看去都覺得是自己的故事，事隔多年別有一番滋味，依然深深覺得那 Frédérique 是某人寫照，JLT 只是行行企企......  

Les Biches 很是一個時代一個階級的寫照（但不是「批判」，因為沒有甚麼好批判的，到底不過是人之本性），對人與人之間（不限於女人，雖然女人之間比較複雜，也更深不可測，看 why 與兩個 jester 對 Frédérique 搭上 Paul 的不同反應，便可知一二）支配、依存、嫉妒的關係看得很銳利。

它其實是非劇情的，是 an expression of (a social) sensibility 。最有趣的隱喻，是 why （及 jesters ）代表的藝術家，對比 Frédérique 代表的中產階級：藝術家希望向中產階級靠攏（在 jesters 的例子是獻媚了），是既艷羨又嫉妒；中產階級樂於收藏藝術，不為欣賞或喜好，卻主要為娛樂自己，所以 Les Biches 不是（至小不止是）刻劃畸型三角關係，卻是社會畸型現象的縮影。why 看似是較被剝削的一方，其實各打五十， 而兩者之間更匪夷所思的，我認為是為求偽裝成 Frédérique 完全放棄個人身份的這個 why 。警世呀。

Tim 經過問我在看甚麼，我停下來給他看一個 JLT 特寫。

Tim （rolls his eyes 無我咁好氣）: You are obsessed.

Me: Yes!

Tim: How come, he wasn't acting, he wasn't doing anything (in The Great Silence)!!

Me: Yes that's exactly why I like him, I like that he looked like he didn't want to be there (in The Great Silence) at all. He is the antithesis of a Western hero!

Tim: You are full of it.

Me: Full of what?

Tim: Full of Shit.

Me: Why?

Tim: 'coz you are making something out of nothing.

哈，他開始知道我的邏緝了！

The French Lieutenant's Woman and the Aussie's Pussy Cat

"It was certainly not a beautiful face, by any period's standard or taste. But it was an unforgettable face, and a tragic face. Its sorrow welled out of it as purely, naturally and unstoppably as water out of a woodland spring. There was no artifice here, no hypocrisy, no hysteria, no mask; and above all, no sign of madness. The madness was in the empty sea, the empty horizon, the lack of reason for such sorrow; as if the spring was natural in itself, but unnatural in welling from a desert."

This is when the French Lieutenant's Woman, aka Tragedy, being described for the first time. Thanks to Tim who has to study this book in his research but for some reason has to put it aside for a while, that I can steal it and start reading, amid the time when I should be working on something more important...It was so captivating I think I can't stop reading, at least for today...

And the pussy cat reads with me.

日安憂鬱

"A strange melancholy pervades me to which I hesitate to give the grave and beautiful name of sorrow..."

今早看到她往窗外望的背影，想起莎岡這句話。其實我越想，越覺得這句話不憂鬱，只是超級慵懶，和佻皮。

從前我以為 D 人把貓毛剃光是因為變態，原來毛太長有很多麻煩，她肚皮上的毛全打了結。剃毛後的她很瘦小，看起來有點可憐，但精神多了，開始會自我清潔（ Tim 說以前也有，但我沒見過），沙盆也整齊了。我其實更愛她現在的樣貌，常在心裡怪笑，或許我始終還是有點變態（這也不是新聞了）。

晚上她總會跳上床跟我們一起睡，她喜歡周圍爬直到找到最舒適的位置，我們小心翼翼，生怕一個翻身壓扁她。





＊ ＊ ＊

我家對面就是 New Farm Park 。今天放假，碰巧有稿要寫，便買了杯咖啡到公園裡翻書。





＊ ＊ ＊

附近有一家精品店，賣日本和歐洲進口的東西，之前的松榮堂都是在那裡買的。我每次進去都忍不住要花費。因為還未支薪，好幾次過門不入。前幾天破戒走走，又買了無謂野。

之一：羅馬香皂（唔知買來做ＭＵＤ，但真係好香，又靚）

之二：檀香香水。都是產自意大利。香味比我想像中失色，但勝在不 common ，也很 bohemian 。

素食蝙蝠

晚上有時會聽到屋頂一群鳥獸飛過，然後一陣尖聲怪叫，不似獸又不似人， Tim 說那是素食的蝙蝠（吃水果）。

昨日清早， Tim 示意我快看窗外。一看，竟然是兩隻倒吊的蝙蝠！

我驚呼：噢，EDWARD ！

與香

寫完“茶與油“之後跟 Tim 出去飲咖啡，順便逛一逛商店，沒想竟在這裡找到京都松榮堂的線香。他們是整盒進貨的，還有三數款香味，真想全部買下來。

茶與油

臨行前黃小姐送了一套杭州青瓷茶具，上有碧裂。我們在家沖茶幾次以後，已有茶漬，碧裂看上去甚有味道。





後面的 oil burner 是在朋友開的店鋪買的。最近我們愛用 Geranium ，配線香。





晚上有時會點這個在韓國買的油燈：

兔肉及刺蝟

前日在 West End （我們住在 New Farm ，West End 在河的另一面）食晏，我很興奮地點了 Wild Rabbit ，Tim 說，你估真系野兔咩？不太大隻（其實也不是原隻），也不太嫩，味道似雞。



這幾天在家完成了 BBC 電視劇 Extras （ The Office 的製作人 Ricky Gervais 編導演）Season 1 ，現正瘋狂追看 Season 2 ，調侃臨記生涯與明星的公眾形像， Humorous, dark, politically incorrect , and very intense 。昨天已看了 Inception ，一點新意都沒有，其實跟 Momento 一樣，只是拿一個簡單不過（但其實說不通）的概念死鑽爛鑽， a naive concept wrapped up in a seemingly complicated plot, quite pointless 。我反而鐘情剛來 Brisbane 看的 The Hedgehog （當然是完全不同的類型），改編自法國暢銷小說 The Elegance of the Hedgehog ，以日本文化連繫著迷小津和谷崎的中年女守門人，深惡中產家庭生活的小女孩，和來自日本的新房客，對東方文化有深厚的理解和尊重，沒有流於獵奇，對生死的體會也很東方－－還是法國片好看。在開羅拍的加拿大電影 Cairo Time 也不錯，淡然中有味道。這兩天有時間會去看意大利片 I Am Love 。

當然，這期間也在工作的。

Touch Base

兩個禮拜來終於第一次打中文了，很慢。己在這裡兩星其了，最享受坐渡輪，這條河讓我想起威尼斯。

哈哈，剛剛首度見到貓貓撥貓沙，超可愛！TIM 快回來了，有空再 update ！

I will write more on everything soon!

我的貓

我問 Tim 生，你不在家時，你猜阿貓會不會悶，牠會不會想要個朋友？（有一半居心是鋪路，要多隻短毛的）

Tim 生答：「不，我看牠滿開心的，平日就坐在窗邊，看看風景，看看外面，看看世界。」

我覺得這個答案挺親和的。其實他自己就是這樣的人。

今天他告訴我：「你的懶貓，今早不願起來，許是怕冷。」

好，乖時算他的貓，懶的時候就是我的貓了。

Tasmania a Wild Peace-land

一到埗，便愛上 Tasmania 。

Tasmania 是澳洲南部的一個島，自成一角，並不是熱門的旅遊地區，我稱之為未被旅遊業污染的世外，保留著它獨有的質樸和粗野，我希望它一直如此，因為它將會是我們日後常到的地方。

I fall in love with Tasmania immediately.

Tasmania is a lovely island in the South of Australia, staying in is splendid isolation from the overwhelming influence of tourism because it is not among the most popular tourist spots. Not just some countryside but a wild land that retains its rusticity and naturalness. I wish it would always retain such beauty because it will be the place we are going to visit from time to time.

有點像電影裡看過的美國西部，天與地連成一綫，一丁點城市氣息都沒有（除了一兩個港口附近比較大規模的市鎮），只有烈日當空、大片的平原、罌粟田、稻麥田、不修邊幅的車道—— Tim 的父親 Moss 特意不走高速公路，好讓我多看自然風景——、路上常會見到被撞斃或野獸噬咬過的動物屍骸，他們稱之為 Road Kills 。 Tim 的父母05年初次來渡假，一見傾心，當即買下一塊地，連同一大片樹林， Moss 親自建了一座小屋（！），每年到那裡小住三兩月。小屋位處山上，面向廣闊的草原和農地，寧靜的 Mountain Roland 座落遠方，守護著這一片風景。屋外鳥聲蟲鳴不絕，晚上還會有野兔、刺蝟、負鼠、沙袋鼠和貓頭鷹四出活動；晚飯後把骨頭丟到屋外，第二天起來已不知所蹤。

Just like the landscapes I saw in some Western movies, there is no trace of city/urban life at all (except perhaps one or two major towns). All that we have are enormous plains, opium fields, wheat fields right below the high noon, alongside the rough and sometimes twisty roads – Tim’s father Moss stayed away from the highways on purpose so that I can enjoy more views - , and road kills are but a casual view you catch every day. Tim’s parents went to Tasmania for the first time in 2005 and fell in love with the place immediately that they bought a piece of land on a hill with a handsome little forest. Moss built a house with his own effort (!) and they travelled down to Tassie for vacations every year. Every morning I woke up to be greeted by a beautiful view of plains, lawns, trees and farmlands with the tranquil Mountain Roland standing at the far end, looking after this beautiful view. The birds’ chirping and the insects’ chanting composed an enjoyable piece of music all through the day and when night fell, little rabbits, echidnas, possums, wallabies and even owls would creep out to enjoy the millions of silver-white stars, if also the food and the bones we left in the bushes, with us.

屋外風景

傍晚（還是清早？），另一景像

屋外的樹林

屋外的樹林

初到埗的黃昏，我們坐在游廊上吃芝士，喝Tim 買的香檳，看日落，我想起普魯斯特在到到巴爾貝克（Balbec）的火車上看到的平靜鄉郊風景。普魯斯特常提到 veranda ，他看海濱少女，他的 Albertine 的地方，我一直當作是陽台，這次去 Tasmania 和 Brisbane ，看過他們的房子，終於知道 veranda ——通常是客廳外有蓋的游廊，在日本房子也常見。有些人家會在游廊封上玻璃窗，變得密不透風，明顯我們並不喜歡那樣做。怎麼捨得把空氣與樹木的氣味，午後的陽光排除在外？在最自然的地方寫作、看書、吃茶、看風景，是我們的 luxury。

We sat at the veranda on the first evening and watched the sunset while enjoying good cheese and Jacob’s Creek rose champagne (which becomes one of my favourite). The view reminds me of Proust’s account of the country views he saw on the train to Balbec. Veranda, veranda is one of Proust’s favorite place in his beloved Balbec where he often settles to look at the shadow of young girls in flower, his Albertine…. Due to my limited experience and exposure I used to imagine a veranda to be something sort of a balcony, only to learn what it is after this trip to Tasmania and Brisbane. Some people like to cover up the veranda with glass windows but Moss and Elsie’s houses all have “open” verandas which are exactly the way Tim and I enjoy. The smell of the air and the bushes and the natural sunlight make it an ideal place for tea, reading, writing or simply being idle.

Tasmania 的氣候變幻莫測，今天萬里無雲，碧日晴空，第二天早上起來卻可以變得濃霧氤氳。那兒的霧卻是清新的，一點不覺霧靄沉沉——或許因為我們身處的地勢高，有一種朦朧的仙氣，那霧濃得觸手可及，四野淡白，美得令人出神。

Weather in Tasmania is capricious, ranging from a chilly cold like the day we arrived to a sweating heat in the day that follows, and one morning after a fine bright day we woke up to find ourselves in the midst of a thick fog gently pervading from the veranda and balcony. Unlike that in London (or in Hong Kong recently) which often conjures up melancholy, the fog - perhaps due to our location in a highland- was light and poetic, and it evokes a celestial lightheartedness.

我們在 Tasmania 住了八天。 Moss 每天駕著一輛七十年代的 Kingswood 汽車，帶我們穿越 Tassie 北部近十個小鎮。 Kingswood 令我興奮的是前座可坐三人，Moss 讓我坐在中間，兩個可愛的男人—— Tim and Moss 在我兩旁， Elsie 則在後排。每個小鎮都有它的特色，規模都很小，只有基本的士多、雜貨店、餐聽，賣日常食品用品，絕對絕對沒有 luxuries 。當然也有一些賣紀念品的店鋪，也有各種古董店，玻璃彩繪店，而且貨品價值不菲，不過你不會見到旅遊城市排山倒海的商業味。

During our 8 days of stay, Moss drove an old Kingswood (which captured me at first sight) to drive us across more than 10 towns in Northern Tasmania. As if in a movies in the 60’s or the 70’s, I was so spoilt they let me sit at the front with two lovely men at both sides, whereas Elsie reigned the back and impressed us all the time with her wits. Moss was a sweet husband he always asked if Elsie is doing fine at the back. Shops are minimal in towns, selling mostly daily necessities and luxuries have absolutely no place here (YEAH). Of course, there are shops selling souvenirs and Moss and Elsie had brought us to some really fascinating novelty shops, murano shops and antique shops where the prices are HIGH, but like I said, there is hardly any disturbing harassment of commercialization and consumerism.

兩老本來有意思把小屋賣掉，已經跟地產商接洽，不過見我玩得這樣興奮，他們說，現在不賣了！

And the most exciting news being, Moss and Elsie has given up their idea of selling this lovely lovely house!

接下來再按圖寫一點點。待續。
To be continued with more stories with pictures.

My Recent Addictions: Incense and Timber

I am a fan of the Kyoto incense store Shoyeido (松榮堂), but am recently addicted to this set of "four season" incense from Tim:

(The Haru one is in my office)

Particularly because the aroma resembles so much those he brought to Brunswick Heads Brunswick heads - yea they are actually produced from the same workshop in Japan.

Not the sort of pure incense like aquilaria agallocha or sandal wood I used to have, they are incenses blended with different sorts of pure essential oils, and the effect is rustic and bohemian. All these formulars are designed by Tim's best friend Sal the Sicilian who runs Perfect Potion.

Haru: This handmade traditional incense blended with pure essential oils of geranium, grapefruit, petitgrain and rosemary captures the spirit of Spring.

Natsu: This handmade traditional incense blended with pure essential oils of aniseed, benzoin, lemon myrtle, rose absolute, palmarosa and ylang ylang captures the spirit of Summer.

Aki: This handmade traditional incense blended with pure essential oils of atlas cedarwood, nutmeg, black pepper, hyssop, coriander, frankincense, fir and lime captures the spirit of Sutumn.

Fuyu: This handmade traditional incense blended with pure essential oils of lavender, juniper berry, sweet marjoram, clary sage, orange, bergamot and sandalwood captures the spirit of Winter.

* * *

And here comes another addiction of Mine: Timber



This little refined timber box was hand crafted by Tim's Dad Moss. I didn't have a chance to ask him the material of it because I picked it up from his workshop in Brisbane after we left Tassie, but I do believe it is blackwood. He is such a timber lover and he has a genuine respect for the craft he would polish all the works to the very extreme.

I have bought a piece of raw Leatherwood in Tassie and when I go back next time, Moss is gonna teach me how to turn it into a bowl or something.

Among all the timber that I know I think I like the scent of Cypress Pine most, but there is so much to learn from Moss in the days to come.

And the little cutting board underneath was made of different Tasmanian timbers.

I am pleased to announce that I am now officially a timber lover.

In Memory of Rohmer@Brunswick Heads

就如同《沙灘上的寶蓮》的開端，我下車打開大閘，我們駛進 Brunswick Heads 的小屋。白色欄栅外便是湖，到埗後的黃昏，我們在湖邊一躺不知多久，看鵜鶘海鷗飛翔、捕食，直到天色漸變猩紅，又轉灰藍，悄悄入黑。湖上有座小橋，過了橋便是海灘，只數步之遙，每天早上換了泳衣跑出去，游泳後赤腳回家，在庭園沐浴，也享受日光的洗禮。晚上到海灘散步，只有我們兩人，靜極了，然海浪聲如嚎；天空清朗，舉頭滿目是星，更可以看到銀河的軌跡，似灑了一層銀白的光，遠處有 Baron Bay 燈塔的點點閃光。他說，第二天一早再來看日出，不料我如常一睡睡到日上三竿——其實日出時有醒來過的，但見他熟睡，不想吵醒他，便又倒頭睡去。他卻說，他也醒來過，看見滿天是雲，不會看到甚麼，而我又睡得呼呼，便沒有喚我。

Just as the opening of Pauline on the Beach, I got out from the car, opened the gate, and we drove in this lovely little house in Brunswick Heads, just a few steps from the lake, with the beach across it. We lay beside the lake in the evening; there, pelicans and seagulls were flying around, picking at their prey from time to time while night was slowly emerging. We walked out every morning in swim suits and came back bare feet after swimming, then enjoyed a shower under the sunlight on the lawn. In utter darkness we strolled to the beach again and lay down: the sky was so crystal clear that millions of stars were visible, even the silver white Milky May, along with the blinking light from the lighthouse in Byron Bay many miles away. We were the only two there, and it was so silent we could hear the waves dashing loudly, loudly. He said we would return in the next morning for sunrise. Turned out I slept in, as usual...I did wake up when the first ray of light was coming out, but seeing that he was deeply asleep, I went back to sleep right away. Yet he said, he got up around that time too, noting that it was so cloudy that we wouldn't see a thing, and that I was soundly asleep, he decided not to wake me.

《破》而後能立嗎？

上面是《新世紀福音戰士》的「第三新東京市主題曲」（97年演奏會的交響樂版，我有這隻CD），也是其中一首我特別喜愛的配樂。電視版第二集，美里帶真嗣回家之前，特別帶他去看埋在地下的第三新東京市從荒涼郊地徐徐升起，這一個感性時刻令人想起活地亞倫的《曼克頓》開場，但因爲我的日本情結，自然覺得《福音戰士》的這一幕更動人。劇場版《序》裡的這一幕加入大量細節（包括我 TM 覺得好有美感的重型吊臂，他， taking the double meaning of "cranes" and his knowledge of Japanese literature - as introduced by me ，管它們叫 thousand cranes - 千羽鶴！）和 CG ，更加是美得無與倫比，令人感受到「造物者」的偉大，還有，還有還有 Nerv 總部那些懸空顯示屏，型！我這個讀文學的人對科技從來沒有好感，也從不對電影 CG 趨之若騖，卻看得驚歎，因為那不是歌頌有些人深信「無所不能」（而其實又冷冰冰）的科技，而是歌頌一種完美又優美的規劃，歌頌科技與人類、與城市的和諧，是一種 artistic harmony ，是詩意的畫面。看完《破》後，我對這類場面不夠多而有點失望，這才發覺我原來下意識在《福音戰士》裡追求這種東西！

看《破》，我是失望比較多。明日香分身了，她出場時沒有交待她的德國血統、對加持的依戀，姓也改了，選擇操作語言、橫衝直撞的場面交由「新女角」去做。當然，倉海君已經提出，這可以意味一件事的不同版本、不同詮釋，可能在某本關於這件事的秘籍裡，「明日香」就是兩個人，這也是《破》好玩的地方；倉海亦在 facebook 上分析了新女角的象徵意味，很有趣。不過作爲一個觀衆，我感情上很受傷害（！），或許因為我與眼鏡娘不過電，她的個性亦沒（未）有任何特點，在這一集裡我看不到她的作用，如果是為「破」而「破」，好像欠了一點神采。而且呢個人物設定同所有其他女角以至成套戲會晤會太晤夾呀？簡直係 CHEAP 化——《福音戰士》的其他人設，都是比較精細的。

最初發覺庵野在片裡用《他如她的事情》配樂（同樣由庵野導演，同樣由鷺巢詩郎配樂，同樣爛尾），覺得很有 cross refrence 趣味，但用多了便膩。

《破》一切都來得有點急，有點亂，特別是作戰部份，鏡頭一轉就已經在打使徒了，沒有交待使徒的特性、美里的對策，雖然看這齣戲的人必然都已爛熟《福音戰士》劇情，但我並不是期待入場由另一個角度重溫片段，如果算緊湊性、連貫性和張力，《序》比較優勝。

《福音戰士》（尤其是電視版）其中一個最好看的地方，比很多很多電影（不止是動畫）都好看的地方，是它的構圖，分鏡和剪接，我從前已經討論過電視版加持被殺那一幕那似是而非的剪接；其實就是電視版主題曲，都已經剪得很好，每個畫面都對應著歌曲的節拍，又互為呼應。例子還有很多，可以獨立成文（如果有時間的話）。《破》基本上也有一些精心的鏡頭，印像最深的是美里跟真嗣在公寓裡道別的 top shot ，很有窒息感，但也唯獨是記得這一個，其他的不算特別出色——當然，亦不太差，保持水準，但就不似看《序》時那麼有驚喜：Nerv 總部裡長長的坐椅電梯 track shot ，美里和律子喝酒的 reverse shot, followed by close up, then followed by a long shot from behind ，表現她們既接近、又疏遠的關係。

感覺上，《序》在情節鋪排和節奏處理上，都比較舒展，比較用心。

但是字幕翻譯實在好。PEGGY せんせい中文底子好，腦筋又靈活，抵死的時候夠抵死，沉重的時候亦夠精煉。明日香口中的「黃馬褂」是神來之筆（完全反映明日香那種吾抵得心態），加持的「只有受過傷害，才懂善待他人」是名句之一，原文應該是優しい？ PEGGY 捨「溫柔」而取「善待」，夠感性，夠體會，夠優しい！真係，吾係因為我地係朋友先咁講架！

最後談談兩個我感受特別深的場面。其一當然是明日香之「死」，由明日香取代冬二「死」在真嗣手上，悲壯感強大很多，不只因為對真嗣來說明日香比冬二更「親」，更因為電視版裡真嗣只知道三號機裡坐的也是一個小孩，並不知道是誰，這一次卻清清楚楚知道是日夕共對的友人。可惡的庵野還要配上一首純情爆的六十年代童子軍歌，真是可怕的暴力美學，比明日香大戰量產機更殘忍（庵野在這一集玩的，亦似乎是純情與殘忍的互相襯託——幼稚溫馨的大食會，化成大廝殺）。其二也當然就是結尾真嗣與綾波麗的擁抱，這是所謂，萬民期待的一刻，不是嗎？感動。

再最後，因為經歷又多了一點，今時今日，我終於真正明白美里憎恨疏遠自己的父親，最後卻獲他犠牲性命拯救自己的複雜心情。（正如我也是去年重看電視版，才懂得同情律子。）

related: 《福音戰士》隨想

Anais Nin's Ambivalence

"I love her for what she has dared to be, for her hardness, her cruelty, her egoism, her perverseness, her demoniac destructiveness. She would crush me to ashes without hesitation. She is a personality created to the limit. I worship her courage to hurt, and I am willing to be sacrificed to it. She will add the sum of me to her. She will be June plus all that I contain."

......

The first thing June and Henry would do would be to initiate us into poverty, starvation, drabness just to share their sufferings. That is the weakest way of enjoying life: to let it whip you. By conquering misery we are creating a future independence of being such as they will never know.... darling, we will know a freedom they have never known. I'm a bit sick of this Russian wallowing in pain. Pain is something to master, not to wallow in."

- Anais Nin, Henry and June

It is only with Tim, and Tim's love, and my love for Tim, that I can appreciate this book (which reminds me so much of me a me in a phase that is already past) to the full extent - and also with sober detachment, be it Anais' destructive, if also poetic, obsession with June; or her soberness in seeing that as wrong and putrid.

And what is so precious about Henry and June is that June was never portrayed as a bitch, despite apparently being one. There is no bitterness, no hatred. June was depicted - romanticized, idolized and idealized with such passion, and she was indulged, spoilt and lavished with love. Which reveals that the true precense here is not June, it is Anais' truthfulness, genuineness, innocence and selflessness, and Anais as a person who is full of feelings, compassions and sentimentality.

有時會迷路

道別的晚飯在山頂吃，是他的意思。上次他在香港，我們最後一頓飯也在太平山餐廳，不過那是大白天。聽我説過喜歡那裡 oyster shooter ，他悄悄的點了。

我訂了花園的檯，入座時日正落，渾圓猩紅的夕陽，幾分鐘便沒入夜。一個東南亞裔女子招呼我們；她背轉身去後，他説：「是同一個人。」我沒回過神來，他補充：「是上次的服務員。」

有時我訝異他的善忘，以爲我自己在 GoMa 買的襯衣是他送的，有時又訝異他的細緻，某夜我們跟友人去諾士佛臺小飲，他冒出一句：「這是我們第一次『約會』的地方。」—— technically 那的確是。我倒是沒有刻意記這些東西。數字與名字而已，假如只有自己記得，會傷心。我記得的，是無緣無故也無意義的東西。例如，故意收起不譲我看要我自己重寫的草稿。給我切的但我急急寫完稿便離開了他房間沒吃掉的，半個青蘋果。窗下那一灘在地上好幾天直到有客人要來才給抹乾的雨水。他在房間裏挪動時隠重若山的節奏。早上起來的一杯維他命——不管我是否已經刷牙。特意去買的洗衣袋。知道我吃不下還是死命吃只因爲是他煮的，於是伸手來拿掉的一盤子意粉。取笑我貪睡但怎樣也會譲我賴床直到最後一刻，而且永遠不要我等待。進門，一屋的鮮百合、睡蓮、不知名的花，伴著檀香的氤氳。迷路。森林中雨露間的鳥鳴。

都是周迅

澳洲 Asia Pacific Screen Awards 公佈提名名單，周迅繼亞洲電影大獎後再憑《李米的猜想》（《愛失償》）出現在最佳女主角榜上，這個消息比得到金馬獎提名令人興奮得多。金馬獎提名作《風聲》，不單不是她最好的演出，甚至不能算得上好——角色太樣板，所有表情語氣都是設定的，沒有發揮可言（而且有些鏡頭真拍得她似 ET ）；跟李冰冰一併提名就更加莫名奇妙，假如周迅都算不上好，那李冰冰能算甚麼？《李米的猜想》裡我稱爲躁狂周迅的她既勇悍又脆弱，豐富立體得多，單單憑第一個滿臉雀斑吞雲吐霧的鏡頭，已叫她拿獎拿得當之無愧。

以周迅如此可塑性奇高的女演員（她可以包辦賈寶玉、林黛玉、薛寶釵三角，奇怪李少紅拍《紅樓夢》竟然不找她），卻始終沒有遇上好劇本，反而遇上不少爛劇本，比如《明明》，比如《畫皮》，誠爲一大憾事。好劇本的意思是不止她的角色寫得好——如此則大有所在，比如《蘇洲河》，比如《小裁縫》，甚至爛透的《如果愛》，她無不光芒四射，但這些都不是深刻之作，不會令人記得她，也記得電影；或者記得電影，也記得她。 TM 在香港時巴巴尋找一部 Stolen Life ，説前幾年當評審差點給它獎，最後給了《可可西里》，但是對這部戲念念不忘。我沒聽説過（都説 TM 比我熟悉中國電影），後來在 Kubrick 查到叫《生死劫》，影碟呢？遍尋不獲。聽説導演是李少紅，第一個本能反應是有點怕怕，第二個本能反應則想那會不會有周迅？（我深信李少紅單戀周迅，你看她那些鏡頭）上網一查，果然不出所料。明知我喜歡周迅的 TM 竟然沒有提及，自然因爲他根本不知道她叫（或就是）周迅；就算看完《風聲》他顯然也沒有認出這個「穿旗袍很好看的女人」就是《生死劫》裡的女人。

看，我説周迅沒遇上好劇本是沒説錯的，TM 深深記得這部片，就是不記得有個周迅！當然從今以後他不敢不記得了 ;)。

P.S. 周迅在《風聲》受極刑時，TM 跟我一起發出了他唯一的一聲慘叫，陪我肉痛！（超殘忍呀，變態！）

木香

TM 父親用澳洲的 cypress pine （柏樹？）打磨出兩個木盤子，木紋十分漂亮，放在桌上有撲鼻的木香，盤子撞上時，又有清脆厚實的木聲。

須是有心

去「袋鼠園」的前一天下午，在他妹妹家吃茶，外面是一片濃綠森林，樹可參天。他上網再看一次「袋鼠園」的開放時間，看到有「印下此頁入場可獲紀念品乙份」的贈券，覺得會是好東西，嚷嚷著列印出來。第二天差不多到大門，記起贈券遺留在車上，巴巴又跑回去取。到買票才發覺贈券不適用－－是為甚麼不適用我忘了，他還問賣票的小姐假如適用贈品會是甚麼，小姐笑笑指著身後一隻嬰兒手掌大小的樹熊文件夾。實在太 cute 了－－當然我不是說樹熊。

文質彬彬

昨晚有個朋友説，自從我認識 TM 後，有些口味一百八十度轉變了，例如從前批評山田洋次很兇，現在倒欣賞起來；而高達則不怎麼喜歡了（雖然一直都不是他粉絲，有些場面老是提起）——他們最近被我強烈轟炸，説高達 misogynistic 、《女人就是女人》很無聊等等（Anna Karina 和 Jean Seberg 依/當然好看，但高達拍女人真的不好看，今次重看，最大驚喜反而是《已婚女人》）……不一定有直接的關係，但總有點影響吧。但變的不純是口味，其實是心態。這也是理所當然的，TM 跟以往的人的差天共地：「質勝文則野，文勝質則史。文質彬彬，然後君子。」

居閑

他說，今早逛家私店，買了些香檳酒杯，一個連鏡的小櫃，好裝在浴室牆上，也買了把新椅子，可以躺著看書。

下午，還要去買學中文的認字卡。