淡極始知花更艷。

淡極始知花更艷。

Tasmania a Wild Peace-land

一到埗，便愛上 Tasmania 。

Tasmania 是澳洲南部的一個島，自成一角，並不是熱門的旅遊地區，我稱之為未被旅遊業污染的世外，保留著它獨有的質樸和粗野，我希望它一直如此，因為它將會是我們日後常到的地方。

I fall in love with Tasmania immediately.

Tasmania is a lovely island in the South of Australia, staying in is splendid isolation from the overwhelming influence of tourism because it is not among the most popular tourist spots. Not just some countryside but a wild land that retains its rusticity and naturalness. I wish it would always retain such beauty because it will be the place we are going to visit from time to time.

有點像電影裡看過的美國西部，天與地連成一綫，一丁點城市氣息都沒有（除了一兩個港口附近比較大規模的市鎮），只有烈日當空、大片的平原、罌粟田、稻麥田、不修邊幅的車道—— Tim 的父親 Moss 特意不走高速公路，好讓我多看自然風景——、路上常會見到被撞斃或野獸噬咬過的動物屍骸，他們稱之為 Road Kills 。 Tim 的父母05年初次來渡假，一見傾心，當即買下一塊地，連同一大片樹林， Moss 親自建了一座小屋（！），每年到那裡小住三兩月。小屋位處山上，面向廣闊的草原和農地，寧靜的 Mountain Roland 座落遠方，守護著這一片風景。屋外鳥聲蟲鳴不絕，晚上還會有野兔、刺蝟、負鼠、沙袋鼠和貓頭鷹四出活動；晚飯後把骨頭丟到屋外，第二天起來已不知所蹤。

Just like the landscapes I saw in some Western movies, there is no trace of city/urban life at all (except perhaps one or two major towns). All that we have are enormous plains, opium fields, wheat fields right below the high noon, alongside the rough and sometimes twisty roads – Tim’s father Moss stayed away from the highways on purpose so that I can enjoy more views - , and road kills are but a casual view you catch every day. Tim’s parents went to Tasmania for the first time in 2005 and fell in love with the place immediately that they bought a piece of land on a hill with a handsome little forest. Moss built a house with his own effort (!) and they travelled down to Tassie for vacations every year. Every morning I woke up to be greeted by a beautiful view of plains, lawns, trees and farmlands with the tranquil Mountain Roland standing at the far end, looking after this beautiful view. The birds’ chirping and the insects’ chanting composed an enjoyable piece of music all through the day and when night fell, little rabbits, echidnas, possums, wallabies and even owls would creep out to enjoy the millions of silver-white stars, if also the food and the bones we left in the bushes, with us.

屋外風景

傍晚（還是清早？），另一景像

屋外的樹林

屋外的樹林

初到埗的黃昏，我們坐在游廊上吃芝士，喝Tim 買的香檳，看日落，我想起普魯斯特在到到巴爾貝克（Balbec）的火車上看到的平靜鄉郊風景。普魯斯特常提到 veranda ，他看海濱少女，他的 Albertine 的地方，我一直當作是陽台，這次去 Tasmania 和 Brisbane ，看過他們的房子，終於知道 veranda ——通常是客廳外有蓋的游廊，在日本房子也常見。有些人家會在游廊封上玻璃窗，變得密不透風，明顯我們並不喜歡那樣做。怎麼捨得把空氣與樹木的氣味，午後的陽光排除在外？在最自然的地方寫作、看書、吃茶、看風景，是我們的 luxury。

We sat at the veranda on the first evening and watched the sunset while enjoying good cheese and Jacob’s Creek rose champagne (which becomes one of my favourite). The view reminds me of Proust’s account of the country views he saw on the train to Balbec. Veranda, veranda is one of Proust’s favorite place in his beloved Balbec where he often settles to look at the shadow of young girls in flower, his Albertine…. Due to my limited experience and exposure I used to imagine a veranda to be something sort of a balcony, only to learn what it is after this trip to Tasmania and Brisbane. Some people like to cover up the veranda with glass windows but Moss and Elsie’s houses all have “open” verandas which are exactly the way Tim and I enjoy. The smell of the air and the bushes and the natural sunlight make it an ideal place for tea, reading, writing or simply being idle.

Tasmania 的氣候變幻莫測，今天萬里無雲，碧日晴空，第二天早上起來卻可以變得濃霧氤氳。那兒的霧卻是清新的，一點不覺霧靄沉沉——或許因為我們身處的地勢高，有一種朦朧的仙氣，那霧濃得觸手可及，四野淡白，美得令人出神。

Weather in Tasmania is capricious, ranging from a chilly cold like the day we arrived to a sweating heat in the day that follows, and one morning after a fine bright day we woke up to find ourselves in the midst of a thick fog gently pervading from the veranda and balcony. Unlike that in London (or in Hong Kong recently) which often conjures up melancholy, the fog - perhaps due to our location in a highland- was light and poetic, and it evokes a celestial lightheartedness.

我們在 Tasmania 住了八天。 Moss 每天駕著一輛七十年代的 Kingswood 汽車，帶我們穿越 Tassie 北部近十個小鎮。 Kingswood 令我興奮的是前座可坐三人，Moss 讓我坐在中間，兩個可愛的男人—— Tim and Moss 在我兩旁， Elsie 則在後排。每個小鎮都有它的特色，規模都很小，只有基本的士多、雜貨店、餐聽，賣日常食品用品，絕對絕對沒有 luxuries 。當然也有一些賣紀念品的店鋪，也有各種古董店，玻璃彩繪店，而且貨品價值不菲，不過你不會見到旅遊城市排山倒海的商業味。

During our 8 days of stay, Moss drove an old Kingswood (which captured me at first sight) to drive us across more than 10 towns in Northern Tasmania. As if in a movies in the 60’s or the 70’s, I was so spoilt they let me sit at the front with two lovely men at both sides, whereas Elsie reigned the back and impressed us all the time with her wits. Moss was a sweet husband he always asked if Elsie is doing fine at the back. Shops are minimal in towns, selling mostly daily necessities and luxuries have absolutely no place here (YEAH). Of course, there are shops selling souvenirs and Moss and Elsie had brought us to some really fascinating novelty shops, murano shops and antique shops where the prices are HIGH, but like I said, there is hardly any disturbing harassment of commercialization and consumerism.

兩老本來有意思把小屋賣掉，已經跟地產商接洽，不過見我玩得這樣興奮，他們說，現在不賣了！

And the most exciting news being, Moss and Elsie has given up their idea of selling this lovely lovely house!

接下來再按圖寫一點點。待續。
To be continued with more stories with pictures.

My Recent Addictions: Incense and Timber

I am a fan of the Kyoto incense store Shoyeido (松榮堂), but am recently addicted to this set of "four season" incense from Tim:

(The Haru one is in my office)

Particularly because the aroma resembles so much those he brought to Brunswick Heads Brunswick heads - yea they are actually produced from the same workshop in Japan.

Not the sort of pure incense like aquilaria agallocha or sandal wood I used to have, they are incenses blended with different sorts of pure essential oils, and the effect is rustic and bohemian. All these formulars are designed by Tim's best friend Sal the Sicilian who runs Perfect Potion.

Haru: This handmade traditional incense blended with pure essential oils of geranium, grapefruit, petitgrain and rosemary captures the spirit of Spring.

Natsu: This handmade traditional incense blended with pure essential oils of aniseed, benzoin, lemon myrtle, rose absolute, palmarosa and ylang ylang captures the spirit of Summer.

Aki: This handmade traditional incense blended with pure essential oils of atlas cedarwood, nutmeg, black pepper, hyssop, coriander, frankincense, fir and lime captures the spirit of Sutumn.

Fuyu: This handmade traditional incense blended with pure essential oils of lavender, juniper berry, sweet marjoram, clary sage, orange, bergamot and sandalwood captures the spirit of Winter.

* * *

And here comes another addiction of Mine: Timber



This little refined timber box was hand crafted by Tim's Dad Moss. I didn't have a chance to ask him the material of it because I picked it up from his workshop in Brisbane after we left Tassie, but I do believe it is blackwood. He is such a timber lover and he has a genuine respect for the craft he would polish all the works to the very extreme.

I have bought a piece of raw Leatherwood in Tassie and when I go back next time, Moss is gonna teach me how to turn it into a bowl or something.

Among all the timber that I know I think I like the scent of Cypress Pine most, but there is so much to learn from Moss in the days to come.

And the little cutting board underneath was made of different Tasmanian timbers.

I am pleased to announce that I am now officially a timber lover.

In Memory of Rohmer@Brunswick Heads

就如同《沙灘上的寶蓮》的開端，我下車打開大閘，我們駛進 Brunswick Heads 的小屋。白色欄栅外便是湖，到埗後的黃昏，我們在湖邊一躺不知多久，看鵜鶘海鷗飛翔、捕食，直到天色漸變猩紅，又轉灰藍，悄悄入黑。湖上有座小橋，過了橋便是海灘，只數步之遙，每天早上換了泳衣跑出去，游泳後赤腳回家，在庭園沐浴，也享受日光的洗禮。晚上到海灘散步，只有我們兩人，靜極了，然海浪聲如嚎；天空清朗，舉頭滿目是星，更可以看到銀河的軌跡，似灑了一層銀白的光，遠處有 Baron Bay 燈塔的點點閃光。他說，第二天一早再來看日出，不料我如常一睡睡到日上三竿——其實日出時有醒來過的，但見他熟睡，不想吵醒他，便又倒頭睡去。他卻說，他也醒來過，看見滿天是雲，不會看到甚麼，而我又睡得呼呼，便沒有喚我。

Just as the opening of Pauline on the Beach, I got out from the car, opened the gate, and we drove in this lovely little house in Brunswick Heads, just a few steps from the lake, with the beach across it. We lay beside the lake in the evening; there, pelicans and seagulls were flying around, picking at their prey from time to time while night was slowly emerging. We walked out every morning in swim suits and came back bare feet after swimming, then enjoyed a shower under the sunlight on the lawn. In utter darkness we strolled to the beach again and lay down: the sky was so crystal clear that millions of stars were visible, even the silver white Milky May, along with the blinking light from the lighthouse in Byron Bay many miles away. We were the only two there, and it was so silent we could hear the waves dashing loudly, loudly. He said we would return in the next morning for sunrise. Turned out I slept in, as usual...I did wake up when the first ray of light was coming out, but seeing that he was deeply asleep, I went back to sleep right away. Yet he said, he got up around that time too, noting that it was so cloudy that we wouldn't see a thing, and that I was soundly asleep, he decided not to wake me.

Last Friends 與女同性戀在日本

忙！

日前貼出 Last Friends 的札記後，馬上收到日本朋友せんきち電郵回應。讀畢，比較明白 Last Friends 的劇情舖排，觀感有點改變。電郵内容太精彩，特轉引並翻譯如下：

日本では、同性愛に対する偏見や嫌悪感がまだまだ強いのです。
特に、男性同性愛に対する偏見よりも女性同性愛に対する偏見の方が強いと思います。
それはたぶん、日本に根深く残る女性差別と関係があると思います。
つまり、女性同性愛の場合、同性愛に対する差別に加えて女性に対する差別も加わるのだと思います。

また、これは日本人男性だけでなく、女性もそうですが、sexに対する考え方の狭さも関係しています。
一般にsexとは勃起した男性生殖器を女性生殖器に挿入する一連の行為のみを指すと、この国（日本）では考えられているので、女性同士のsexは不完全なものと見做されているのです。

ですから、以前はよく同性愛の女性のことを、男性は「レズ（Lesbian）に走った」と言っていました。
これは、「男性に裏切られたりして男性不信に陥った女性が、その代替行為として女性との恋愛に走った」という意味で、あくまでも異性愛が正常という考え方に基づいたものですが、今でもこのような考え方が日本の中高年男性を中心に根深く存在しています。

それから、日本では「男同士の友情は女にはわからない」というように、男性同士の濃密な関係が多く見られるのですが、そういう男性ほどなぜか同性愛への嫌悪感が強いという傾向があるようです。

翻譯：

日本對同性愛仍然有很強烈的偏見和反感。
而對女同性戀的偏見，又比對男同性戀的偏見更大。
大抵日本仍遺留著根深蒂固的男女差別觀念。
也就是說，對女性戀者的歧視中，還包含對女性本身的歧視。

而且，不只男性有這種想法，連女性也一樣。
這跟性觀念保守亦有關係。
一般來說，性愛是指「男性生殖器を女性生殖器に挿入する一連の行為」（這個不用譯了吧），日本人因此認為，女性與女性之間的性愛是不完全/圓滿的。 （！）

所以，從前很多女同性戀者，被男性形容為「轉投 Les 」。所謂「轉投」，其實意味「被男人背叛過的女人，不信任男性，因此以跟女人戀愛作替代」。日本中年男性仍然根深蒂固地抱有這種想法，因為認為徹底的異性戀才屬正常。
（按：亦即認為，女同性戀是病態、變態）

又，日本人認為「男人們的友情，女人不會明白」，男性之間的親蜜關係很常見，但不知何故那些男人對同性戀特別反感！

au revoir - for the heart of paris never ceases to beat

My utmost thankfulness to the dear old man who, for me, is not just another master but one who had brought so much into my life. He who is never aged, he who is never dated. He whose youthfulness never burns out and whose creativity never goes down, he whose works are always full of surprises in the midst of simplicity. He who has much influence on me in my appreciation for people, for love and the love for love, for time and the past of time, for naturalness, for spontaneity, for longing, for flirtation (in its most elegant form) (and for beaches, for vacations), for a light-heartedness (which I sometimes fail to maintain) in writing, and in living. What a cheerful and fruitful life he has gone through and just as me and Mary had talked over, he wouldn't want us to feel mournful. I have but to feel deeply, deeply thankful.

"Voir un film d'Eric Rohmer, c'est aller contre cet emballement: c'est prendre le temps de ne pas savoir ce qu'on veut, puis de vouloir ce qu'on ne sait pas, bref c'est prendre le temps d'aimer."
—Laurent Roth

「看盧馬的電影，若飲醇醪，不覺自醉，那裡面有時間不留痕跡的芬芳。」
—黃愛玲


P.S. I intend to post my friend's email in response to my comments on Last Friends tonight, but it has to give way by all means.

Pseudo-Lesbian Drama: Last Friends

最近的口味越來越爛，發覺自己在半夜三更煲過期日劇 Last Friends －－一向都慢幾拍架啦。上野樹里的造型在一兩年前劇集播放時已感到非常震驚了（我家老弟當時日追夜追－－是豬豬版不是 TVB 版，那首 Prisoner in Love 播到我嫌煩），不是震驚她扮 TB ，而是震驚她扮得那麼神俏！神俏到似在做自己（又話我一廂情願啦）。所以不該說震驚，應該說是－－觸電！

等我以為咁激，第一集就已經安排上野樹里與長澤雅美又攬又錫，誰知就不過止於「咁」激，之後的十集都，對不起，即使上野樹里有這麼個令人心如鹿撞的小男孩造型－－有點憨厚又有點幼細，集英氣可愛純情於一身，再加上死心蹋地，「用條命去愛她的美智留」－－，基本她與長澤是各有各做，一丁點火花都沒有，更遑論甚麼曖昧場面。

劇情好爛，仲爛過韓劇。其實人物故事完全有得發揮，可惜編劇是淺野妙子，不是野島伸司！所以，當我見到長澤變左獨眼龍，真係第一時間爆笑！（記得《高校教師》電影版嘛？）

這算是恐同嗎？分明上野就是 TB ，喜歡長澤，為甚麼又要說是「性別認同障礙」，要這麼為世不容－－都不過是喜歡一個女孩子，使唔使一定要話佢有精神病先？就算她不只喜歡同性，也接受不到自己是女性，好覺得自己是男孩仔，是不是就算是一種「障礙」（ disorder ）？然後長澤即刻彈開十尺（長澤最不可饒恕的不是白痴無腦，而是由始至終都竟然不了解上野，也沒有任何意圖去了解她），爸媽的表情仲慘過發現女兒原來是道友、殺人犯、恐佈分子......

其實問題不在於將上野歸類為「○○○○障礙」，而是劇集由始至終拒絕 acknowledge 上野是同性戀者。而拒絕 acknowledge 上野是同性戀者明顯不是因為上野不是同性戀者（因為她絕對是）。

也自然拒絕 acknowledge 瑛太是同性戀者。不過瑛太的角色有較多灰色地帶，也較有空間模稜兩可，劇本一方面寫到他很基，一方面又寫到他其實不是基，有意將他的陰柔與抗拒女性「歸咎」於童年陰影。

安排瑛太與上野互相吸引是要巧妙地暗示他們心底畢竟是「異性戀」，只是因為各自的心理障礙（尤其是上野的心理障礙）未能成事。總之喜歡同性不可以是自然的、根本的，也不可以是理所當然的，必然是因為有陰影，有障礙。

但問題又來了，為甚麼日劇夠膽拍 DV 、師生戀、亂倫、愛滋、小學生懷孕，就是不敢名正言順合理化、正常化同性戀？（還是我看得太少？）這是一個我想不到答案的問題，願乞高明。

當然你可以說，對執迷於「病態（美）」的日本人來說，同性戀其實太小兒科，一個基一個 Les 更加好鬼老土。所以還是給瑛太加個童年陰影，又為上野套上個精神病吧。你也可以說，為甚麼一定要開宗明義，朦朦朧朧掩掩漾漾可以是一種「藝術」考慮，但如果你告訴我 Last Friends 由始至終沒有正面觸及同性戀這個問題（雖然明明兩大主角都有這種傾向，至少女主角有）是出於「藝術」考慮，這種藝術手法也未免太不高明了。

我在討論區見過上野粉絲強調「上野不是 Les ，她是○○○○障礙」，似乎有障礙也總比 Les 好。所以可能劇集的方向是「對」的，因為單純 Les 是不行的，觀眾會有「接受障礙」，就像 NANA 一樣，要為徹頭徹尾是 TB 的娜娜安排一個男友，阿八和少女讀者們才可以「安全地」迷戀她——有趣， NANA 電影版的編劇正正亦是淺野妙子。

不過 Les 也好，○○○○障礙也好，上野獨自面對的壓力一定是很大的，所以這個角色仍然寫得好，特別是她想接近長澤又不敢接近的那種矛盾，愛得那麼卑微，那種一次又一次被丟低的默默神傷。她的演出更加是爆晒燈！每一個眼神每一個表情都充滿感情！「隱藏自己的感受，才是真的正愛」假如現實世界真有這樣一個 TB ......

（雖然係爛。但有好多位都睇到眼濕濕— my weakness, perhaps I too have a wounded heart just like them 。瑛太與上野都令我很感動）